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American Patriotic 11

David Anson Howes

March 21, 1956 ~ January 3, 2021 (age 64)


David Anson Howes ascended to Valhalla in a galaxy far, far away on January 3rd, 2021. His family consulted Miracle Max who confirmed that David was, unfortunately, not just mostly dead and all that could be done was going through his clothes to look for loose change. He is survived by a long-suffering devoted wife, two annoying children, and an evil Chiweenie. David's future plans include golfing on the dark side of the moon, drinking Vodka Seven from a front row seat at George Carlin's stand-up shows, breaking the record for most bacon sandwiches eaten by a ghost, and watching the Patriots play at Hell's nicest sports bar. David had an aversion to public displays of misery so there will be no service. We ask that you honor his memory instead by blasting Steely Dan at midnight loud enough to wake the neighbors.

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